Dr Batty.

I'm just sitting here in out patients and I've got a few hours to kill before I have my lumber puncture. It's strange I look to my right and a couple have a set of beautiful twin girls and the father is having treatment. Then I look to my left and a old couple are together and the man, Mr Seymour only has approx six months left to live. I see this regularly but today seems to be pushing the buttons.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I just feel weird a lot of thoughts are rushing around my head. I keep thinking of the past before I was diagnosed and all those things you take for granted. I get upset because not only do I want all those silly moments back and I want to be normal once again I also want that for everyone in this room. It's silly because for me in the next few months this may happen but I know for the old couple this won't be possible and to me that isn't fair. I don't want this to be a downer blog just emotions are high and I seem to be pretty emotional and in a crowded room this isn't good.  

I also see a lot of good in this room, I see at the end of the room a guy in remission only a few months a head of me with his girlfriend. Smiles all around and banter is what I like to see, Its good when you see couples together bouncing of each other I think for someone with cancer it helps having that special person to be comforted by them even if nothing is exactly said a cuddle and squish can make all the difference. I'm lucky I've got a special someone but I've also got amazing friends and family that have been a great support through out this and that's something I will never take for granted.

I had a few surprises after I wrote I'd be hours waiting it's seemed to of shot by as soon as I kept getting my laptop out I was getting called for bloods, then the same happened when waiting for the doctor and then the same happened for my lumber puncture so we got home by three today when normally its six. Dr Batty did the procedure he's a friendly chap, who is slightly camp. It took a few attempts so I might be a little sore tomorrow. I jinxed my self by saying "last time went really quick" I knew I had shot myself in the foot as soon as the words left my mouth but to be honest when its over I've forgotten all about it and I'm ready for whatever is next.

I've got some footage of the weekend of me and Sarah being silly and shopping, I'm hoping to edit that and get that up soon and I want to get some footage of tomorrows treatment as I didn't get any today but to be honest I don't think anyone wants to see a lumber puncture. I was making the most of what energy I had left before this bit of treatment turns me in to more of a sloth. It's starting to kick in now and after a few hours of walking I need a snooze or some major chill out time.


Me and dad invested in the new branded t-shirts for the Royal Marsden, there pretty snazzy I think. Check out this Facebook page and like it please just to help with promoting the Royal Marsden March which I didn't realise was on, though being well next year I hope I can join in.


So I'm of to edit my footage and watch some rubbish television if I don't fall asleep first. Also might get a hair cut as I'm starting to get a mullet and not even a decent one at that though it seems pointless as it will fall out soon but I'm slowly turning into a wolf.

Take care and keep smiling!
:)
x x x


Katie