So I went out last night with a few girls from work and it was really nice, I hadn't been out in a few weeks and it was great just to be in the pub atmosphere. I only had two cokes but I really enjoyed sitting in the pub having a catch up and giggle if only for a few hours. Though I gotta say a few mojito's or gin and lemonades would of been nice but I'm happy enough just sitting there chatting away.
A topic that keeps coming up when ever I see an old work colleague is when am I coming back to work and I'm not really sure, I say 2-3 months being that my treatment should end in 2 months but then remission which then becomes monthly check ups and occasional dose of chemo. To be honest I don't really know when I'm suppose to go back to work, my Clic Sargent was saying I have to come see her first and she will let me know if I'm ready or not.
I had this weird dream last night that an old school friend who I haven't seen since school (seven years ago) had said something about me not working or challenged me and I went on a rant about how they knew nothing about what Id gone through, example- treatment, lose of friends, fear and the rest. I totally took her down a peg and was pretty proud of my dream self. It was only a dream but I'm not sure how the real self would deal in that situation, I guess I might come across some small minded person with a problem with me but I'll be ready for them!
I keep having these dreams that I'm at work and I'm not in the right department and I'm not doing the correct job I think in my subconscious I'm really worried. These dreams seem to get me thinking "what department will they put me on? what if i can't do it? how many hours will i do? will the new kids pick on me?" you know all them general things. It feels like first day jitters and I'm the new kid again though I've worked there over 5 years.
I'm actually looking forward to going back to work I know I thought I'd never say that but I miss the people I work with, Well only some. I miss the banter and silly jokes the little things that count really you don't realise till its gone what you miss, but thats a whole different blog right there. Also wanna get more active and build myself up and hopefully work will help with that. No doubt I'll be back down the isle singing away and causing trouble in no time and complaining that I'm bored and want to go home. But we will see I don't want to rush back and make myself worse, I have a very different out look on life since this hole experience and I'm going to not let things like work trouble me, life is to short.
Well guys I'm off to play some PS3 and wait for Matty to come over, I'm gonna do some video blogging today so should be something for you to watch in the next couple of days. Also invested in a new camera but it wont come for a few more days its especially for vlogging so the footage should be nicer and better quality, the things i do for you guys. :)
Take care and keep smiling!
:)
x x x
Ps. My heart goes out to Japan right now, what a disaster. I wish I had the strength to help, It's really hard for me to watch the images on the news but doesn't mean I don't care. I want to donate and give as much as I can, Its just so sad. My thoughts are with you Japan keep strong and stay safe. x x x x x x
Don't rush back to work (I agree with the message left on FB). I think, before you know it, you'll be bored with the place, and I believe 'retail' is truly unforgiving. If you're back at work, they'll assume you're fit enough, and you could really struggle. (I've had a bad morning at my 'retail' office so hence my negative vibe).
ReplyDeleteYou might want to see if eventually you can find something that you do enjoy doing... gosh, consider going back to college if you have to. Life is too short, and if anything, you should take your experience, and take the plus side out of it... You've got an opportunity here to change your life - for the better, obviously! ;-)
Yes, and so sad with Japan... I wanted to win the Euromillions so I could just send it out to help families that have lost everything (obviously clearing my own mortgage first and helping out my family too... but there was enough money to go around!).